Words
by Hananiah
Summary: SLASH Anakin reflects on how to tell Ben how he feels but Obi Wan is very, very sick, time is tunning out
1. Default Chapter

Title: Words  
  
Rating: PG  
  
1/?  
  
Summary: Anakin tries to tell Obi Wan how he feels but time is  
  
running out when Obi's life is threatened  
  
Disclaimer:I own nothing  
  
Coupling: Obi/ Ani NO Q/O  
  
"I'm getting nowhere" The young padawan exclaimed, he paced the  
  
floor. Anakin Skywalker suddenly slumped, his face a mask of  
  
despair "I can't tell him how I feel. And he won't understand. He  
  
still thinks i'm that ten year old boy from Tatooine." Qui Gon Jinn  
  
smiled but it faded as he saw real distress on the padawan's  
  
face. "Ani, what you feel will scare Obi Wan, you are asking him for  
  
feelings he's ruthlessly pushed aside for more then twenty years, he  
  
will not be easily convinced of your feelings" The young padawan  
  
nodded "It's just I want him so badly and it hurts inside" for  
  
emphasis Anakin took a handful of his robe over his heart.  
  
"He loves you Anakin but he doesn't understand that feeling, he knows  
  
your not a little boy and that scares him because your being a grown  
  
up means that Obi Wan's dreams have the faintest hint of coming true  
  
and he's not ready"  
  
"But I could help him. We could learn together, I'd look after him"  
  
Anakin protested. Qui Gon nodded "Ani, it isn't me you have to  
  
convince. I want Obi Wan to be happy, he is like a son to me but You  
  
can't force the issue"  
  
Anakin sighed and fell back into his sleep couch  
  
"What if he doesn't love me?" Anakin said, his voice muffled in the  
  
cloth.  
  
"I don't think that's an issue"  
  
"Master I think I've broken my comlink" Anakin commented later, he  
  
sat in the lounge staring at his comlink, Obi Wan peered over his  
  
shoulder, and Anakin breathed in deeply the smell that was Obi Wan.  
  
Cinammon  
  
"Can you fix it?" Obi Wan asked, Anakin shrugged "Probably, I must go  
  
through more comlinks then any other padawan" Anakin joked, trying to  
  
ignore the sensation inside as Obi Wan gently ruffled his hair, the  
  
hand on his head stayed a minute too long and Anakin lifted his head,  
  
Obi Wan didn't move and their faces was an inch from each other,  
  
Anakin felt his eyes close but he felt a rush of cold air as Obi Wan  
  
jerked away, Anakin tried to stifle a sigh.  
  
His annoyance turned to worry as he focused on Obi Wan's hand it was  
  
trembling. "Master are you okay?"  
  
Obi Wan nodded but Anakin could see minute tremours travel up his  
  
arm, was Obi Wan sick? 


	2. worries of a padawan

Time line: just after AOTC Notes: Anakin and Padme aren't in love Padme is also in love with Obi Wan  
  
Anakin turned his hand, it glinted in the harsh light in his room. He hated this thing, how could Obi Wan ever love him with this? And now he had competition. Padme. Anakin felt his scowl deepen, he liked Padme, a little but he didn't appreciate her taking care of Obi Wan, that was his job, but he couldn't have done anything because of his arm. What if Obi Wan fell in love with Padme, the thought caused Anakin to cry out. He couldn't loose Obi Wan, he would loose everything. The gentle knock on the door alerted Anakin of a presence, he turned seeing Obi Wan blocking out the light from the common room, instinctively Anakin pulled his severed arm behind his back, not wanting Obi Wan to see it, but without a word Obi Wan knelt beside him gently taking his hand, melding the cold metal fingers in his own. "What am I going to do with you Anakin?" Obi Wan asked gently, staring into Anakin's eyes playfully, Anakin didn't catch onto Obi Wan's gentle teasing, lost in the warmth he felt, the love that Obi Wan gave him without conditions. "It'll be alright Annie" Obi Wan said, misreading Anakin's silence "We're going to be alright" Obi Wan shifted suddenly "Padme told me that you two exchanged vows of love, is this true?" Anakin heart stopped, he had forgotten all about that in the days after the Geonosian battle, lost in the grief over losing his mother and his arm. He needed to explain but what could he say, he tried to find jealousy on Obi Wan's face but was faced with concern, Anakin felt his hear drop, Obi Wan wasn't jealous he was worried, being the devoted master. Anakin drew in his breath "Master I did say that, but I thought that we were going to die" Anakin shuddered as emotion rolled through him, he didn't want this, he didn't want Padme he wanted it like it had been for ten years just him and Obi Wan together, he didn't need anyone but Obi Wan. 'please be jealous' Anakin silently asked 'please tell Padme that you love me.' "Ani" Obi Wan said slowly, his eyes cast in an emotion Anakin couldn't decipher "No matter what I am the one person you can depend on, you understand me? Whatever you need, I will do to make you happy." It wasn't a declaration of love but Anakin felt warmth fill the cold blackness that enveloped him for days "Thank you master" 


	3. A moment

"Master, do you need anything else?" Anakin Skywalker draped the blanket over the comforter, and almost immediately turned on his heel "Maybe you need an extra pillow.." Obi Wan grabbed his apprentice's arm. "Annie, I'm fine really" Anakin frowned, Obi Wan's body was wracked with seizures, they were slower now, one every other minute, Obi Wan had declined going to the healers, Anakin had begged, pleaded and sworn, to no avail. Obi Wan would not budge.  
  
So Anakin resolved to take the best care of him as he could. Anakin sat beside Obi Wan, taking a little of the blankets and covering his knees. "Master I want to help you, but you won't tell me what is wrong" Obi Wan leaned back against the pillow, revealing his neck which was bandaged, Anakin winced, he should have made Obi Wan go to the healers, after the battle on Geonosis, Obi Wan had been injured more then anyone knew, but he had sat beside his padawan's beside. Anakin would never, ever forget that. He looked young, Anakin suddenly thought, his beard and his hair was cut, making the scars more prominent. Obi Wan gently took Anakin's hand "How are you coping?" Anakin shrugged "Okay, it feels weird." Obi Wan nodded "And I am sure Padme is taking good care of you, I expect you to take care of her when you leave" Anakin's jaw dropped. What was happening? He couldn't leave his master's side, not when he was ailing "Master, I can't leave you. I mean you're still hurt" Obi Wan gently smiled, playing with Anakin's braid, Anakin always loved his braid, it was the mixture of their hair, red gold twined with sandy blond, a symbol of their commitment to each other. A commitment Anakin took very seriously.  
  
"Annie, don't be worried about the council" he soothed "I talked with them, I told them that Senator Amidala was not like the rest of the senators that you loved her.." He broke off when he realized Anakin did not look happy that his face was screwed up, he instantly became worried. "Annie, what is it?" Anakin couldn't speak, he was overwhelmed, his master was supporting him, he didn't want that. He wanted Obi Wan to yell to forbid him from seeing Padme again. No such luck. Nope he was stuck with a loving, supportive master, who would never love him as a lover but only as a padawan. He and Obi Wan had a good relationship underneath the arguments was real affection. He had been angry at Obi Wan and had gone to the room of a thousand fountains, he had met Yoda and had spilled his guts, Yoda had looked thoughtful for a moment and then had asked how he would feel if Obi Wan hadn't told him off, he had asked Anakin whether or not he felt like he got better when Obi Wan pointed his faults out to him Anakin had to admit he did. Yoda pointed out that Obi Wan only wanted the best for him, if Obi Wan didn't care then he would not bother to correct him. Anakin remembered that every time he fought with his master. "Don't worry Anakin I have given you leave for a week" he frowned suddenly "I wish it were more but it was the best I could do" Anakin thought his heart would burst a week without Obi Wan? "Yes Master" Obi Wan grinned, glad he had made his padawan happy, he would do anything for his padawan. 


	4. different places, the same pain

No words were spoken between Anakin and Padme, there was nothing to say and Anakin was too absorbed in his own musings to notice the woman strolling next to him. In his mind he could still see Obi Wan, and he didn't look well, Anakin hated the idea of leaving him but he had had no choice. He was torn in two, his heart belonged on courascant yet his duty drove him to Naboo he was so deep In thought that he didn't notice that Padme had grabbed his hand gently, she almost shyly smiled and he returned it.  
  
Padme was wonderful Anakin knew, kind and gentle, he did truly love her, he just wasn't in love with her. He thought back to the days of their whirlwind courtship, it seemed easy now to see how he had fallen for her, his master out of sight made it easy for him to turn his attention elsewhere. He was wrong, his heart ached to be with Obi Wan's, he had heard of bondmates or soulmates when he had mentioned it to Obi Wan he had laughed and asked his padawan teasingly "And what kind of person would want to be connected by the soul to me for eternity?" Anakin had looked into his eyes and said firmly "Me" But Obi Wan had just smiled gently, and had hugged him, he had looked at him reproachfully "Ani, you and I can barely go an hour without arguing!" Anakin had just leaned in closer, small moments between them where few and far between and he loved them. So why did he think something was wrong?  
  
Obi Wan shut his eyes and practiced the breathing techiniques the healers had taught him for the pain, but nothing happened, his whole body was on fire and he felt like his breath was constricted. Bant gently sat beside her friend and applied another injection until Obi Wan's pained expression faded. "Ben, let me send for Anakin" she pleaded she knew that Obi Wan took great comfort in his padawan and the Calamarian suspected that the feelings were more then friendship. Obi Wan shook his head "No, he is safe, that is all that is important to me" Bant sighed at his stubbornness.  
  
The night cloaked Naboo, it was comforting but Anakin could not sleep, he stared out of the window, losing himself in the beauty of Naboo trying to focus in on the presence of his master. He couldn't. Obi Wan was blocking him, Anakin clenched his fists tightly but not in anger, but in desperation. Never in ten years had Obi Wan blanked him, not even in the worst of their fights, Anakin didn't understand, he was too far away and had been warned not to contact the temple unless it was an emergency.  
  
Anakin tried to find his center but couldn't, he felt cast off and alone, and he hadn't felt that in a long time. It had taken Obi Wan a long time to open up and Anakin wasn't going to let him sink back into his shell, he loved his master, Anakin blinked he hadn't realized he had said it out loud. He had never had the courage before. Anakin tilted his head up to the sky, pinpointing one bright star that belonged to him and Obi Wan, it was theirs and Anakin always knew it was there above him guiding him as Obi Wan did. But now for the first time it seemed very far away. 


	5. decions

I am updating!  
  
I know this has been a long time in coming up but its here now.  
  
"Anakin?" Padme's soft call alerted the padawan to her presence. When he looked up he could see that Padme looked tired, her normally lively brown eyes were dull and lifeless. Obviously she wasn't the only one that was worried about Obi Wan. A flash of jealousy swiped at him but he ruthlessly pushed it away. Padme came forward leaning against the cool stone of the balcony, she laid clenched hand on her fist and stared deep into the gardens below. She looked beautiful and remote. "Padme I have to go back to Courascant" The senator sighed deeply, Anakin held his breathe hoping she would understand. "I can't do this Padme, I can't be away from him. I thought I could but I couldn't and he's dying." The outburst echoed ominously in the dark night, Padme flinched slightly and both looked away. "I'm sorry" was all Anakin could offer.  
  
"How are you feeling Obi Wan?" Qui Gon stared at his son, trying to remain impassive, but he could feel Obi Wan slipping away from him. "I'm good" Obi Wan lied cheerfully. He could not get up under his own power but Bant and Qui Gon had propped him up on a mountain of pillows. Obi Wan stared out of the window, but Qui Gon doubted he really saw anything. "I hope Anakin is alright" he murmured drowsily, his heavy eyelids beginning to flutter to the pale skin. "I'm sure he is fine" Qui Gon soothed, wishing hs could do something, anything for the man he considered his own flesh and blood. His family. "It was the right thing to do. To let him go" Obi Wan continued doggedly.  
  
His eyes closed further. "The right thing" Qui Gon motioned to Bant to snap of the light that shone in Obi Wan's face.  
  
Silently the female Jedi complied. Once they were both seated they took one of Obi Wan's hands, each using their impressive connection to the living force to aid Obi Wan's ailing spirit. Bant leaned down, her domed head coming to reston the bed, her hand intertwined with Obi Wan's. "I'm going to the council" she decided aloud. Qui Gon rose and eyesbrow at the young woman. "And say what exactly" Bant's silver eyes filled with tears and she gestured angrily at the sleeping form on the bed. "I'm going to ask them to bind Obi Wan and Anakin together" she insisted, "They deserve that at least. How long has Anakin suffered in silence about his love for Obi Wan?"  
  
"Since he was sixteen" Qui Gon allowed  
  
"And Obi Wan loves Anakin, it's the only way to ensure they get what they need. If the.." She stumbled slightly then drew her resolve in.  
  
"If the worst happens."  
  
The room fell silent except the beeping vigil of the machines. 


End file.
